I hope this letter finds you and yours doing well and in the best of health. As for myself, I'm doing a great deal better than I have been for the last 12 months.
As you know I am a disabled vet. with P.T.S.D. (Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder.) I don't know how much you know about P.T.S.D. but it makes life in general, harder to cope with. In my case, for instance, my family seems to think 'ah he'll get over it'.
Al, most of the time people with P.T.S.D. are in their own little world. At least I feel that I am. The only people I can relate to and feel compatible with are brothers in arms (fellow vets that have or relate to P.T.S.D.) For us (me) life in the civilian world is a jungle and I don't trust anyone! Not even my own family, for fear of inadvertent betrayal, exploitation, mockery, ridicule, etc.. I've been married several times, numerous relationships, and so on.
My friend, life is really hard when you get out of the army! In the military there's a code of ethics and there are standards that we go by. The old saying, "Watch my back & I'll watch yours", says it pretty well. In the military it doesn't matter what color you are or where you came from, i.e. foreign, poor, rich, American Indian, white, black, brown, it doesn't matter we are brothers in arms." in a sense we were "color blind". In civilian life no one hardly trusts anyone.
For me, being out of the army has heightened my stress, paranoia & anxiety. These three titles include a lot of other emotions i.e. rage, lack of trust, scared all the time, depression, suicidal, lack of sleep due to paranoia, homicidal response to little things, and always on guard.
I randomly wake-up nightly. Each night it is a different hour of the night. My compulsion is to check out the windows and look around the house with my light and shotgun. I walk outside as quietly as possible to see if anyone's around. Since I no longer have my dogs, I pull "guard duty." I'm married now & have a 2 1/2 year old son, which makes me more stressed in trying to protect them from harms way.
I stress out, every day and night. The feelings are with me 24 hrs a day. I go to therapy every week at the V.A. hospital or private therapy. Life in general is hard to cope with!
You see Al, few people have any knowledge of what many vets went through until they have been in the military and seen people killed before their own eyes. The non-vet (other than, maybe, law enforcement officers) cannot begin to know the feeling of looking at the business end of a M-16 assault rifle with someone on the trigger end that has just flipped out. It therefore follows that almost none have any knowledge of what it is like for the returning vet. If they did, I doubt that they would be so quick to say, "Ah, he'll get over it."
As the saying goes, "When you've walked the walk. You can talk the talk!"
Perhaps some might better understand if they saw the list of medications that the V.A. has been prescribing for me since October 18, 1997:
(a) Chlorpromazine 200 mg 2 ea 4 times a day.
(b) Clonazapam 2 mg. 2 times a day
(c) Haldol 3 mg (shot) constacte 3 times a month.
(d) Cogentin (Benzotropine) to be taken as needed for muscle spasms.
(e) Levothyroxine 0.15 mg. 1 time a day (for headaches) There's enough for 30 days (30 tab) I run out by the 10th of the month.
(f) Florinal 1, 2 times a day or as needed.
About a month ago one of my counselors suggested that I start taking a "natural stress formula," 2 ea. 3 to 5 times daily, it seems to really work. Here are some facts now:
1. I sleep peacefully at night with less-stress and anxiety when I'm awake.
2. I'm able to talk to other non-military persons without feeling paranoid. (I still don't thoroughly trust anyone except my wife.)
3. The days aren't so hard on me.
4. AND, I don't need to take the medications I had been:
Al, if I can be of any help to you, please write to me.
Sincerely,
(Name withheld for reasons of privacy}
In no way do we claim that Neu-BeCalm'd will cure PTSD . . .
Neu-BeCalm'd is formulated to give your body the nutrition (vitamins, minerals and amino acids) that you need to live a normal healthy life. Our body is designed to acquire these nutrients from our food, however, our food no longer has these nutrients. Therefore, we need nutritional supplements.
